Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
