the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
