I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
