I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
3pm strippers are depressing
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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