1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
