It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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