I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
