I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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