he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
