I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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