A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
