You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize