He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well I just put wine in my tea
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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