the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
