Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
