erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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