One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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