You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
