Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
