I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
