Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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