i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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