I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
