i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
