It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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