How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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