dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
