the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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