Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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