You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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