I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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