you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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