I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't turn off my feet"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
