OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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