I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
