I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
