I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Couch. On fire.
Randomize