47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize