Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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