he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh god it's open bar.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
