I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The uberlube is also flammable
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
