The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
