I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize