I got chris browned last night
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
