The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
