I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
