your parents love me but you hate me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
