This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
