butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
