Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
