The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
