you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
