I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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