You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Randomize
