Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
