So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
