i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wish I only lived at night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
