Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
love makes seman taste better
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
