i think my tv is drunk
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
