I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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